so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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