A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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