I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
