Dual....:-)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
