Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
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