i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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