Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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