It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
