oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
