Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
