There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
