I skipped work to stalk him.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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