I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
