i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
NoShamevember. You game?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
