I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You've changed since you got that strap on
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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