the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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