So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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