gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
