I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
