Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize