i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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