first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
