Who did Billy Mays play for?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
