Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My bed smells like the plague
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