I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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