I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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