He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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