He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
