Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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