We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
