I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
