I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
