Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
