At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
