this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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