she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
