Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
