The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
