help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
