that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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