Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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