the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
