Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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