Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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