WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize