Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
