They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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