My first STD was from a foam party
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
