who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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