He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
