So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
