yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
