Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
