The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
