the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
