I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize