Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
