i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
