Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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