Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
