oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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