There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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