Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
