HIV tests are more positive than that guy
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
