Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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