im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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